FORMATION AND DEVELOPMENT OF FEELINGS IN THE SYSTEM OF SPIRITUAL AND INTELLECTUAL UPBRINGING OF THE PERSONALITY

FORMATION AND DEVELOPMENT OF FEELINGS IN THE SYSTEM OF SPIRITUAL AND INTELLECTUAL UPBRINGING OF THE PERSONALITY

The approach to spiritual and intellectual upbringing and teaching of spiritual feelings is considered. The tasks for the formation and development of feelings in the system of spiritual and intellectual upbringing and teachingare recommended.
Keywords: upbringing, spiritual feelings, formation of feelings, development of feelings, education of feelings.

Khvostychenko O. M.
Candidate of Military Sciences, Associate Professor,
World Scientific Noosphere-Ontological Society, Kharkiv, Ukraine

10.34142//2708-4809.SIUTY.2022.183

In the system of spiritual and intellectual upbringing and teaching, priority attention should be given to the spiritual component: Honor, conscience, ideals, feelings, personal qualities and abilities, and the multiplication of spiritual vital energy [1, 2, 3, 4].

Feelings are a special energy [5]. While a person can suppress and even remove negative emotions and build certain mental structures with a willful effort, it is impossible to form feelings with an effort of will. Feelings are like a plant – it is useless and even dangerous to pull it upward to make it grow faster. A plant needs soil and other favorable conditions for comfortable development. The soil for feelings is a person’s soul, his or her consciousness. Feelings do not tolerate any pressure. Just like a plant, feelings need to be provided with the necessary conditions – watered, lighted, and fertilized in time.

Only by creating the right conditions can a person hope to grow their feelings. What kind of soil will he create for the feelings in his heart – light or darkness, a lifeless desert or a beautiful flowering world. And this is created by the decisions and actions of a person – they strengthen or destroy them according to the laws of feelings [5]. That is, feelings are a subtle matter that cannot be sat down and transformed by self-hypnosis or other techniques. But you can use techniques to create conditions for feelings to flourish. Or you can ignore your feelings, ignore them and literally dry them up or even destroy them with your negativity.

When the goal is to obtain and develop feelings, the first thing a person should do is to understand: first, what they already have (conduct an internal audit, revision) – which feelings feel good, which feelings are on the sidelines of life, they are not paid attention to, they are “sick”, suffer, or are not present at all; second, what feelings should be ideally; third, what to do with the existing feelings and how to obtain new desired ones so that they make a person happy, the heart burns, and the relationships are as beautiful as possible.

The main tasks of developing feelings are as follows:

1. To learn to distinguish feelings, understand their programs [6], why they are given, and the rules for dealing with them. If a person does the right thing, their feelings grow. If he does something wrong, his feelings are suppressed, they wither and bring suffering.

2. Turn on self-control. Examine your attitude and reactions. Learn to look deep into your soul and record what feelings are caused by certain words, moods, behaviors, and actions, both your own and others’. Trying to understand how to do it: what words to say, how, with what intonations, with what attitude, whether usual or special, with an awareness of the value of what one wants, so that the heart opens to feelings. In other words, with the help of self-control, you need to tune your heart to the person, to your feelings for him or her.

3. A state of calm. Calm does not mean sleep or indifference. Calmness is the absence of negative emotions, fuss, far-fetched anxiety, fears, and other negative things, depending on the troubles – it is the subordination of internal problems (they are silent and do not manifest themselves, do not try to seize power over the state). Calmness is an indicator of a person’s spiritual strength, a condition for maximum concentration on a task. It is in calmness that a person is capable of awareness, self-control, and adequate perception of another person, his or her feelings or falsity.

4. Enhancement of joy. Joy is the basic foundation for cultivating feelings. Joy and satisfaction must grow in order to keep the fire burning in the heart and the soul singing. You have to create this mood on purpose: “I want joy to live in me, I want different feelings to live and inspire me.” And it should be so that it is manifested in everything: in the expression of the face (it glows), in an open smile, in words and intonations, in behavior and actions.

5. Reaction to problems that arise. In the course of communication, unpleasant situations may arise: misunderstandings, misunderstandings of various kinds, unexpected manifestations, etc. – it is important to respond to them correctly, not to cut them off, not to jump to conclusions, but to pay attention to them, ask questions, calmly and without emotion find out the reasons for the relevant manifestations, express your attitude, remembering the main goal – not to hurt feelings, but to strengthen them.

6. Getting feelings:

— creating conditions – actually all of the above. Calmness and joy are the main conditions. Learn to speak in such a way that people’s tension is relieved, that a good mood is turned on, eyes light up, smiles appear; everything that is done should be done with love, that is, easily, joyfully, with a good mood, and this mood should be formed in others;
— Strengthening the value of feelings – it should be not so much words as appropriate attitudes and actions, including careful attitude to the feelings of other people (not laughing, but supporting, etc.)
— asking the Higher Power – no one should guess what a person wants. Appealing to the Higher Powers is a recognition of them, a manifestation of respect, and an expression of one’s aspirations (what exactly I want, to whom, why) and obligations (to value, protect, and nurture). Awakening feelings in others (receiving reciprocity): on the one hand, awakening what they already have; on the other hand, awakening their desire to receive feelings.
— To be a person worthy of feelings, to be respected, loved, and thanked by people.
— An invitation to feelings – an offer of friendship, other feelings – should be as sincere as possible, reflect real feelings, not illusions, what can be offered right now and what is proposed to be further pursued together.
— Compliments are a special form of praise, an expression of approval, respect, recognition or admiration; kind, pleasant words, a pleasant response. A compliment is a simple but powerful tool that helps to establish good relations with other people and earn their favor. A well-timed compliment can defuse the situation, break a tense situation, and even affect your personal life and career. A sincere compliment shows interest in the relationship with a particular person, should be aimed at opening the heart, touching on spiritual values, and then it opens the heart for further communication.
— A sentimental appeal is when a person is called not by his or her first name, patronymic, but by some other words that replace his or her name: “my beloved”, “my queen”, and reflect a sincere attitude towards a person, emphasizing that he or she is important, that his or her qualities and advantages are valued. Falsehood, any insincerity – they destroy everything, always and everywhere.
— Gratitude is the recognition and expression of the importance of what a person has done for another or how he or she treats them. It is important for a person to know that someone needs them and that what they have done, what they have invested in, what they have tried, is not wasted. It is desirable that the true value of what was done and what the person wanted to invest is properly understood and expressed in words of gratitude.
— Recognition and evaluation – the most difficult tools are a conversation about a person’s advantages and disadvantages, a serious conversation that aims to raise a person’s adequate self-esteem and help them get rid of their shortcomings.
— Roles – selected images and styles of behavior in certain conditions and with a particular person: “a reliable and loyal friend” or “an ideal student” – give an understanding of what is possible for oneself and necessary for others within the framework of a particular relationship. Unlike in the theater, where actors play other people’s roles, we need to learn to play our own roles in life. If the roles are chosen correctly, are consistent with each other, complement each other, and are sustained in the course of interaction, the relationship will be comfortable and develop well, and feelings will intensify.
— Attitude is the energy that comes from a person, it is the mood of your soul, the attitude of your mind, the attitude of your heart. These are the feelings that a person experiences when he or she is around: whether he or she is warm, pleasant and his or her heart is singing; or whether he or she is tense, restless, something prevents him or her from feeling easy and comfortable. The outgoing energy affects a person and can create favorable conditions for awakening the best in a person, including feelings.
— Correspondence to the external – there should be no contradictions between your attitude and external manifestations – this applies to posture (straight back, dignity), head position (straight, not to lift your nose and not to “plow the ground with it”), gaze (calm, interested, friendly, welcoming), smile (radiate joy, openness, sincerity), gestures (smooth, complete – not torn, not twitchy, not fussy). It shouldn’t be: you say “yes” but look away; your smile is charming but your gaze is unapproachable, etc.
— Gifts are signs of attention, a method of strengthening relationships, a reflection of your attitude towards a person – you don’t feel sorry for them, you want to give joy to another. You create or acquire something, you put your energy, your attitude, your feelings into it, and you give it as a gift, establish a connection, encourage the person to take some action in response.

7. Development of feelings. It is foolish to wait for feelings to come and start developing rapidly, to set your heart on fire – you may not wait. It is better to try to awaken feelings in yourself. As a first step, you can try to copy ready-made examples from movies, performances, etc. – you know what to say, you know how to look, how to move, and everything else, and when you say the appropriate words, try to pick up the intonations, gestures, facial expressions, you have the opportunity to get the appropriate feelings, to make your heart sing, to make it live.

Most people are empty in their souls: resentment, disappointment – they have closed themselves off, they live, they work, but they feel little. Development involves enriching the spiritual, inner world of a person. He or she has more and more new sensations, certain shades of feelings, experiences, he or she can not only see, hear, but also feel, including the majesty of the ocean, the beauty of the sky, the singing of birds, and, of course, a person and his or her attitude.

Relationships, feelings are one of the most important sources of joy, happiness and pleasure [3, 6], they are opportunities to express oneself, meet understanding, get advice, help, support, connections, opportunities in society when someone loves, respects and is ready to help you. On the other hand, they can also be one of the main sources of human suffering – an offensive word, inattention, rudeness, etc. often cause a person heartache, resentment, and also limitations in life, problems, and unpleasant situations that happen to a person. The task is to teach people to understand why this happens – depending on the reasons, there are different options for the development of events, different decisions that need to be sought and made.

8. Not destroying feelings. Feelings are a gift of the gods, so a person has no right to destroy the feelings given to him or her, but can ask the gods to do something with his or her feelings: either temporarily take them away or redirect them to another person. If a problem arises with a stranger and there is no longer any interest in communicating with him or her, you can simply stop seeing them and that’s it – the problem is solved. With a loved one, you need to understand the problems, relieve tension, switch attention, and listen to unpleasant things about yourself. This can also be painful, but either the problem is solved and the feelings intensify, or the person is freed from unwanted feelings by passing the lesson with dignity. Destroying the feelings of one’s own and other people is a spiritual crime.

The solution of these problems in the system of spiritual and intellectual upbringing and teaching will allow students to form the right attitude to spiritual feelings and equip them with the rules for forming relationships based on feelings [2].

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